Getting back to routine after Christmas

As the clock strikes 12 and the fireworks send us flying towards a new year, I’m usually one of the yo-yo dieters who swing into action on January 1st. Ever hopeful! This year, however, it’s going to have to wait as I have a three-nager who, like most toddlers, is testing the boundaries and pushing me head first into the leftover Christmas chocolates!  

Over the holidays, we stepped back and relaxed. Lazy mornings, nowhere to be, a little more lax on bedtime, screen time and treats. Whilst this was lovely for the rest of us, in hindsight we saw that Jack struggled with the lack of routine this year.

The later bedtimes didn’t always equal a lie-in, and the knock-on effect was naturally a change in behaviour. As much as he loved having his daddy and sister home, it was confusing. He often asks, “What am I do(ing) today?” and likes to know the plan. As a toddler, so much of life is dictated by adults. What to wear, what to eat, where to go, what to do. They long for autonomy, which is an area our strong-willed chap is currently specialising in! 

As we edged towards our usual boundaries in the new year and back-to-school routines, Jack has struggled to regulate his emotions. Instead of being mildly put out about no more chocolate, he is on the floor distraught. Rather than grumpily agreeing to put his coat on in the chill, he is resisting with every fibre of his being. We know this is a mix of being overtired, having concentration fatigue on busy days, and generally being out of routine. We’re not yet out of the woods, but here are a few things we’re trying. 

Bedtime has been a big push back, and he isn’t happily dropping off as he had been. We usually have a set bedtime (within half hour) with the same number of stories, and he knows what to expect. This is where the holidays have rocked the boat. As he can’t hear overnight without his aids, we’ve introduced a visual 'Gro-clock' which shows the sun and stars to indicate day/night time. This helps when he wakes in the night to steer him back to slumber.  

He’s struggling with us leaving the room, and it’s hard when the night is silent. (Though I personally appreciate not hearing my husband snore!) You don’t have options such as audiobooks or soothing music overnight with deaf children. We’re taking it slow and staying in his bedroom in sight, gradually moving away to ease his separation anxiety. To be honest, we don’t really have the answers, we’re just trying what we can and reminding ourselves nothing lasts forever. Sleep deprived parents unite! 

In the throes of dysregulation, I’m all too aware that Jack cannot hear what others are saying to him. His cries overpower all other noise, and there’s little point in trying to verbally calm him down. He needs clear communication with his hearing loss and a degree of calm. We tend to scoop him up in a cuddle until he is ready. We tell him we understand, reiterate the boundaries and try to move on with a distraction.

We use sign to support speech in everyday life, but it’s particularly important when restoring calm. Using simple language alongside lipreading and visual cues helps him focus and comprehend. He still might not agree that Cadbury's has retired for the day, but hey—I blame the advent calendar! 

At the end of the day, (hearing loss or not) I think all parents are just muddling through the tricky days as best we can. There’s no right way, only what works for you. It is alleged that strong-willed children grow up to be leaders. Maybe, just maybe, they’ll change the world.